Essay Question: Discuss the emergence and importance of the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights (ICESCR)

To understand the Essay- I have also attached the Task advise of what the Essay was supposed to outline.

I need the Essay attached to be corrected as per the lectures feedback below:

• The content you are engaging with is appropriate, so you are on the right track in that sense.
• The analysis however needs to focus on the instrument more specifically and the specific rights it seeks to promote or protect – your analysis should always come back to the instrument.
• A clear thesis seems to be missing...you can easily say..This essay will argue.....
• I’d also encourage you to find more contemporary examples to illustrate the protection or violation of the rights – treatment of children during the industrial revolution is not an appropriate example to discuss the effectiveness of the ICESCR as the instrument didn’t exist then. Child labour is still an issue so you should be able to find lots of current examples to explore.
• A stronger conclusion should be looked at. Remember to relate is back to the Thesis
• Keep within the word count of 750 words