Read the student essays, consider the narrative structure we have been discussing, and answer the following questions for one of the essays in a post of a minimum of 250 words:
- What background information does the writer provide?
- Why is that information necessary?
- What would the impact have been if he/she had not provided some of the background information until later in the essay?
- How long is the event that takes place?
- How do you know?
- At what point does the writer slow down the narrative pace? Why? What is the impact?
- What inner thoughts do they include? How does this impact readers? What would we have missed if we didn't have this information?
- Do you have any additional comments or observations?
- For the "Night of the Intruder" essay: how did you feel when you found out who the intruder was?
Reply to two of your peers. Each reply to your peers should be a minimum of 150 words:
- Was this the essay that you wrote about in your post?
- In what ways did your peer's post help you develop a better understanding of either the example essay?
- In what ways did your peer's post help you develop a better understanding of the structure of a narrative essay?
- Include any other observations or insights.
he Night of the IntruderAs a newly divorced woman in my late twenties, I was still a bit uncomfortableabout being the only adult in the house, especially at night. Whatever happened now, itwould be up to me to take care of my two young children and myself. There was no longera husband around to take charge. Our three dogs gave me some sense of security, as theywere protective of us and obedient. I liked knowing that my little watchdog pack was outin the backyard, on duty.One night around 9:30, I was reading in the living room, and my kids were asleepin their bedrooms. Suddenly I heard an unidentifiable sound coming from the kitchen. Itwas not a normal kitchen sound of the refrigerator motor, or a dripping faucet. It was morelike a slurp. My heart pounded as I slowly set down my book and tiptoed toward thedarkened kitchen. Peering through the open doorway I saw something that caused me toclap my hand over my mouth in order to stifle a scream. In the fruit bowl that sat on ourkitchen table was a large rat, munching noisily on an orange, its long, pink tail draped overthe rim of the bowl. The rat turned to look at me, then jumped off the table, scampered pastmy scrunched up toes, scooted around the corner, and slipped behind the couch.I ran to my bedroom and pulled out the baseball bat that was hidden under my bed,right next to the small dagger in its leather sheath that was also stashed there. I had placedthese weapons strategically ever since my husband had moved out. I took the protection ofmy kids and myself very seriously and felt that I was armed and ready for any intruders.As I hurried back to the living room with baseball bat in hand, the rat scurried pastme, and to my horror ran through my daughter’s bedroom door, which was slightly ajar. I
watched as his tail disappeared under the dust ruffle of her bed. I quickly entered her room,shutting the door behind me, then closed the door that led to my son’s adjoining bedroom.Now at least I had the rat trapped in one room.Not wanting to frighten my daughter, I tried to gently awaken her, but she justrolled over. Trying again, I said, “Come on, Angela, let me carry you out to the livingroom for a few minutes.”“No,” she moaned sleepily and burrowed into her covers.She ignored my further pleas, so I said, “Angela. There’s a rat under your bed.”She instantly flew up into my arms with a shriek. We eased out the door, makingsure nothing was exiting along with us, and I deposited her safely on the couch. I rushedback to her room, closed the door again, and rousted the rat out from under the bed. Itproceeded to lead me on a frenzied chase all over that small bedroom. Up the dresser,down the wall, behind the toy box, up the curtains it went. There seemed to be no surfacethat it couldn’t climb or run across. I kept after it with the wildly swinging bat, crashingdown on the furniture, smashing into the walls, banging on the roof of the metal dollhouse.Periodically over the commotion I could hear Angela scream, “Did you get it?” and I’d yellback, “Not yet!”Meanwhile, my son Joey, separated from the mayhem only by a hollow bedroomdoor, slept soundly. This didn’t surprise me, since this is the kid who I had to wake upfrom his naps by vacuuming under his crib.After more than an hour of breathless pursuit and still no capture, it occurred to me.
to bring the dogs in to help. Through the closed bedroom door, I called to Angela to let the dogs in from the backyard, which she promptly did. I pulled them quickly into the roomwith me, shutting the door behind them. Angela returned to her post on the couch.Our corgi, Shadow, and our cockapoo, Tony, set to work immediately, sniffingaround the perimeter of the room. But Jack, the black Labrador, spotted his reflection in thefull-length mirror and let out a threatening growl at himself. Obviously, he wasn’t going tobe much help. In fact, it looked like he was getting ready to lift his leg on the mirror, so Ishoved him out of the room.Suddenly, Tony spied the rat as it ran behind the bookcase. Now that he knewwhat he was hunting for, there was no stopping that dog. He dove fearlessly after the rat,no matter where it went, while I continued to flail at it whenever it was within range.Although now I had to be careful not to smack Shadow or Tony by mistake as I aimed forthe rat. At one point as it ran across the top of the dresser, I jabbed at it with the end of thebat. In doing so, I pinned it up against the wall by its tail. The sound of its little toenailsscratching frantically against the wall as it dangled there, running in place, made me screamwith revulsion. Tony then became even more determined in his efforts. We continued topursue the rat around and around the room until finally on one of my swings, I connected,and sent the rat flying through the air. As it landed, Tony grabbed it up into his mouth,gave it a quick fatal crunch, and dropped it on the floor where it lay, dead.“Woo-hoo!” I hollered, “Good boy, Tony!” I patted him, then picked up the rat byits tail and carried it triumphantly out of the room, the dogs trotting happily alongside.Angela peeked out from under the blanket. “Yay, Mommy,” she sighed with relief.
Glancing up at the clock, I saw it was now 11pm.